finding compassion

If you are a living, breathing human being with any access whatsoever to the media, you know at least a little bit of what's happening across the world. ISIS has taken responsibility to a number of terrorist attacks across the globe and has threatened and hinted at more. Most media coverage has been devoted to the various attacks in Paris, but a Russian plane, the people of Beirut and of Baghdad have also been victims of terrorism in the past week. In fact, according to a Wikipedia tally, there have been 290 terrorist attacks so far this year by a variety of perpetrators.

With this increase of awareness of these global issues, many people have been quick to jump to conclusions and generalizations, the most common being that Muslims are a dangerous group of people.

I've seen all kinds of judgments and stereotypes against Muslims in the past several days and it breaks my heart. Having had experiences and friendships with people who are Muslim, I have developed a strong respect for the Islamic faith. They are a peaceful, moral people who's image has been distorted by the extreme behavior of a select few.

As humans, we love to put people in categories. We want to organize them according to our own ideas because it is more convenient to group them together than recognize them as individuals. And when extremists appear, it is easy to see them as the spokespeople for the whole. Many people have fallen in the trap of assuming that ISIS is a valid representation of the Islamic faith, and ISIS will use this to their advantage.

The truth is, Muslims likely hate ISIS as much or more than we do. They are a poor representation of Islam and its people. They also target other Muslims for a majority of their attacks. Islam is a victim of ISIS. By perpetuating hatred and discrimination towards all Muslims, we are furthering that damage. We are assisting ISIS and that is not okay.

So now is a time for compassion and love. There are thousands of Syrians uprooted for their homes and looking for their futures. They are looking for somewhere safe to go. And we have the opportunity to be that haven for them.

There has been extensive discussion over whether or not taking in refugees is a risk worth taking. People are scared that ISIS will use the immigration of these refugees as a way to infiltrate the US. In all honesty, this should be a concern. Likely, there will be some refugees with their mindset and influence. But this excuse to avoid assisting those in need makes a faulty assumption. It assumes that the US is clean from the influence of ISIS at this point in time. Chances are, ISIS already has individuals residing in the states who are loyal to their cause. Accepting refugees does not change that. Accepting refugees, in my opinion is not opening the US to the influence of ISIS because my bet is that it's already here. And in that case, I think it makes much more sense to help the thousands of people fleeing from their homes than to worry about what may or may not be coming with them. It is much better to do good in spite of the bad than to avoid the good because of the potential evil inside.

Thousands of Syrians are fleeing from their homeland. Thousands of individuals scared for their lives and wondering what will happen for them and their families. Thousands of mothers, fathers, and children hoping that someone, somewhere, will open their hearts and their homes because they had to leave theirs behind. 

Who are we to tell them they don't have a future here? Who are we to tell them that our own safety is more important than theirs? In our history, the US has been so willing to send troops abroad to help people in need with their problems in the past. Take for example, nearly every war the United States has engaged in. Why do we take a different stance when it means them coming here instead? We are willing to fight their problems in their own land, but are so hesitant to share ours. 

We must find our compassion and our humanity. We are on this earth together and we must work to maintain peace, safety, and health. Syria needs that assistance. These people need our help and we all should be willing to provide it. 

If you are looking for a way to help out the refugees personally, there are many options for you. 

If you are LDS, please donate to the Humanitarian Aid Fund here. 

If you go to BYU or live in the Utah Valley area, this is also an option:

If neither of these apply to you, you can find local organizations that are putting forth an effort to help. This link also has a list of organizations that are working to assist refugees. 

No matter what outlet you choose, you can help. 

suffer the children

Recently, the Church changed its policy regarding the blessing and baptism of the children of same-sex couples. These changes have only been announced through news media sources (source 1, source 2, source 3 - plus several others). This policy change redefines apostasy as including participation in a same-sex marriage. It also states that "a natural or adopted child of a parent living in a same-gender relationship, whether the couple is married or cohabiting, may not receive a name and a blessing." And that a natural or adopted child of a same-sex couple can only be baptized if "the child accepts and is committed to live the teachings and doctrine of the Church, and specifically disavows the practice of same-gender cohabitation and marriage"; and "the child is of legal age and does not live with a parent who has lived or currently lives in a same-gender cohabitation relationship or marriage."

Recently, the Church has shown support for same-sex couples in their legal endeavors. Many congregations have included homosexual individuals in their worship services. However, the Church's policy on same-sex marriage and behavior is clear. We believe that God has ordained marriage between a man and a woman. We believe that acting on same-sex attraction is a sin (though the attraction itself is not a sin if it is not practiced). 

In high school, I was close friends with several gay men. Due to this friendship I've always been a little conflicted on the issue of gay marriage. When sorting out my thoughts, I came to the conclusion that I would support my gay friends and relatives in their lifestyles. I do not have the right to decide for them how they feel and want to act. I have never felt threatened by or uncomfortable with the idea of same-sex marriage being recognized legally and have supported its legalization. I decided that my religious beliefs do not necessarily dictate my political beliefs. I can believe in the divinity of traditional marriage while believing that everyone, despite their personal beliefs on the matter, has a right to that legal institution. 

Since last night (which I understand is not the longest amount of time) I have been trying to wrap my head around the policy changes. I am hesitant to form my own opinion yet since the Church has not released official statements or explanations of the matter. I'm mostly writing this so I can understand my own thoughts. My initial response was shock. I was shocked that the Church would keep essential and saving ordinances from a child because of the actions of their parents. I was shocked that the Church would refuse the option of membership from a child due to the "apostasy" of their guardians. I tried to assimilate this change with my belief that "men will be punished for their own sins" (Article of Faith #2) and not for the sins of others. I tried to understand why Christ would say "suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for such is the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 19:14) during his life, but then would allow for a policy keeping those same little children from entering into that kingdom. I still don't fully understand and I have many questions.

For example, what happens to the 14 year old kid who strongly desires to get baptized, firmly believes in Church doctrine and teachings, and has the approval to get baptized from his same-sex parents? What happens when he wants the blessings of baptism and membership now instead of waiting four years? What happens when he has no place else to go when he does turn 18?

Does this apply to any children of same-sex couples or just the ones living with their parents? What if a devout family member takes the child in to their home? Is this change to protect the relationship of parent(s) and child? Is this change to ensure that a child won't become inactive or leave the Church after continuing to live with same-sex parents?

Why, if the previous definition of apostasy was "repeatedly [acting] in clear, open, and deliberate public opposition to the Church or its leaders," would a new definition need to be added to specifically mention same-sex marriage? It clearly falls under the first definition under Church doctrine. Why would the Church openly postpone blessings for certain individuals because of the circumstances they are living in?

We are all sinners, so why should the children of certain kinds of sinners be held from baptism? Why can a child of adulterous parents, addicts, or criminals be baptized normally when a child with same-sex parents is given so many restrictions?

I'm sure there are answers to these questions and social media has been fighting hard to find them. I have been told by some that Christ would not support this policy. I have heard from others that even though it may not make sense now, we need to trust the Lord. I have felt ashamed of the Church's decision. I've felt ashamed for feeling that way. I've felt heartbroken for the children of same-sex couples who are looking for truth and baptism and are told they can't have it yet. I've felt chastened by other Church members for my questioning of the Church's changed policies.

I know that I will not be able to fully understand certain things while I am on this earth. I know that throughout mortal life, I will have questions and in time, I can find answers. I know that I need to have faith, but sometimes faith is hard. It is okay to have questions and search for answers. It is okay to be unsure. President Uchtdorf, Second Counselor in the Presidency of the Church, counsels us to to "doubt our doubts before we doubt our faith." But this does not mean we should be ashamed for having doubts in the first place.

pretty girls

"Happy girls are the prettiest," (Aubrey Hepburn) so put a smile on your face even if that's not what you feel. Intelligence is sexy so make sure you're smart so you can attract a good partner. Confidence is key (to securing a mate). We are told to have certain characteristics in order to boost our own appeal.

Can't I just be happy because it's healthy? Can't I be smart because I enjoy learning and want to pursue my goals? Can't I have confidence because I don't need to attract anyone to feel validated? We live in a time where even our personality traits are tied to our outward appearance and appeal. Because that is what has been labeled as the most important since day one.

Young girls are told to be beautiful, as if beauty is the best thing you can have. We are told to be pretty, as if that is the epitome of our existence. We are told to put on some lipstick and be charming. Because that's what we were brought into this world to do. Other traits that we develop throughout our lives with either enhance or diminish our beauty, so choose what characteristics you develop very carefully.

I hate the fact that I don't feel attractive unless I have attention from my male peers. I hate that as humans, we crave love and affection so much that we often tear ourselves down when we don't have it. I hate that all of my qualities can be tied back to whether or not I am attractive to everyone else. I want to be called beautiful and I want to be admired. I want to be more than the girl you can talk to about sports or your girl problems. I want to be more than your "bro." But I don't want to want that. I hate that I want it.

I do, begrudgingly, want to be noticed for my beauty. But the truth is, I want to be noticed for so much more.

I have so much more to offer than my appearance.
I want to be noticed for my witty humor or my athleticism.
I want someone to tell me that I am inspiring and ambitious.
Tell me that I am passionate,
Insightful,
Strong,
Fierce,
Independent,
Assertive,
Eloquent.

Compliment more than the way I look, because your eyes will never be able to see all that I really am.