Now I want you to think about yourself as an individual. What is your favorite color? What do you want to do with the rest of your life? What makes you happy or sad or angry? How do you view yourself?
Now I want you to imagine that the entire world is looking at you. And they're telling you that the career you've chosen is disgraceful, that your style is horrendous, or that the things that make you happy are silly or wrong. Imagine how that would feel.
Caitlyn Jenner recently introduced herself to the world and she has been met with a fiery storm of both praise and hatred. She's been told that she's beautiful, but she's also been told that she's a disgrace to both the male and female genders. She has claimed her identity and began a life that makes her feel happy. And shouldn't she have the right to do so?
1. No one knows exactly what other's are dealing with.
Often, when dealing with our various trials, we tell ourselves and others that no one knows what we're going through. And at a temporal level, it's true. Our experiences are completely individualistic. Only we know exactly what we are feeling at any given moment. And this applies to Caitlyn. My personal speculation would be that she has suffered from gender dysphoria for a good portion of her life (given that this speculation is based off an incomplete undergraduate level study of psychology). But essentially, this means that she does not identify as male, and living as a male caused significant stress and anxiety in her past life.
So how many of you have had gender dysphoria? According to the DSM-5, the incidence of gender dysphoria ranges from 0.005%-0.014%. So there's actually a pretty good chance that none of you reading this understand the mental issues that Caitlyn or others with this disorder are dealing with. That means that you don't really have the right to judge how anyone in this kind of situation chooses to deal with their feelings and identity.
2. You do not understand what God would and wouldn't do.
An argument I've seen about Caitlyn is that God wouldn't make the "mistake" of putting a female soul into a male body. The initial problem with this argument is that it assumes that our earthly understanding of the world is capable of knowing what God would and wouldn't do. And assuming that the placement of a female soul into a male body is a mistake can be compared to stating that genetic disorders are another mistake made by God. But here's the thing, God doesn't make mistakes, but he does provide trials for us throughout this lifetime that allow us to grow and learn. I am in no position to say that God would or would not put a female soul into a male body. But I am here to say that it is possible and we shouldn't assume that it's not.
On earth, we are limited to a temporal understanding of eternal concepts. If we assume that we have complete knowledge, we are limiting the beauty and complexity of the eternities.
3. Gender is not a concrete concept.
Gender is definitely fluid. If it wasn't all men would be the same and so would women. But we have to incredible opportunity to develop our own identities. I have the right to decide whether I want to be athletic, quiet, outspoken, submissive, or powerful. Yet humans naturally create categories to organize concepts. When something or someone deviates from our preconceived dichotomy, we freak out and call it unnatural. But the problem usually isn't in that thing or person, it's in the way we feel like they have to fit in some sort of box to be accepted.
This is especially prominent in regards to gender. We assign each gender colors, activities, and adjectives. Deviation from these categories causes contention, intimidation, and often hatred. And when someone doesn't fit into either category, we get confused.
Now it wouldn't be a real blog post from me if I didn't include an LDS concept, so here you go. In The Family: A Proclamation to the World we are told that "gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose." Gender is an eternal concept. But once again, I think we are limited by our earthly connotations of gender. Perhaps the eternal definition stretches farther than our earthly understanding.
4. Transexualism is not "trendy."
Another argument I've seen regarding Caitlyn is that the choice she made was merely because it was a trendy thing. No. Transexualism is not trendy. It is a serious decision that very few people make in their lifetime. It is also commiting oneself to a highly discriminated against community. The decision Caitlyn made was not because it was a cool or hip thing to do. It was a decision made out of stress and anxiety over the male role, and a peace to be discovered in a female one. A person does not make the decision to reassign their gender because of press or money. Caitlyn was struggling and this was the way she found to cope with what she was feeling.
5. Caitlyn is brave.
There is a rumor going around that the runner up for the Arthur Ashe courage award was a war veteran who lost his arm and leg in combat and has competed in athletic competitions despite his disability. Number one this is false; there was no "runner up." Second, one person's bravery does not negate the courage of another. And three, the decision Caitlyn made was brave.
She decided to desert the life she knew as a man and begin anew as a woman, knowing that she would be met with disgust and hatred along the way. She was true to how she felt, and that takes a lot of courage. She also made the decision to join oppressed and discriminated against communities. The negatively she has faced and will face for being a member of the LGBT community is incredible. Yet, she made the decision to face that negativity because it meant living a happier life for herself, not for anyone else.
She also decided to join the female community. I've seen statements saying this is a disgrace to women. But think about this. She has chosen to be the target of objectivity and sexualization. She has chosen to be the victim of discrimination and oppression. She has chosen for her accomplishments to be ignored by the media so they can focus on what designer she decided to wear on a given evening. She has chosen to receive 77 cents to the dollar if she decided that she should need to work. This is a life she has chosen, and it's not for fun or glamour. It's for the comfort in her own skin. And it is absolutely ridiculous to say this decision was made lightly.
6. No matter how you view her choice, it is not your right to judge what she does with her life.
She is not harming anyone. What she has done is not illegal. So please tell me exactly why you think it is your place to tell her that her decision is wrong. Perhaps you don't think that gender reassignment is the best way to deal with these kinds of issues. Or perhaps you believe that this change is a sin of some sort. I'm not here to tell you that you are wrong for thinking those things. But I am here to tell you that a person does not deserve to be hated for a decision that has no effect on you whatsoever.
Think back to when I told you to think about all of the choices you have made in your life and to imagine them being broadcast to the world. Now imagine all of these individuals posting about how your decisions were wrong or harmful. Think about them telling you that the decision you made makes you a disgrace to your community. Do you deserve this? No you don't.
Christ taught us that we are supposed to love our neighbors. There were no stipulations to this commandment. He did not say love them unless their fat, gay, transgender, black, or less intelligent. He said to love everyone. And that's that. It does not matter what you think of the decision that Caitlyn or any other member of the transgender community has made. Remember that love is the most important thing we can do in this life. And that love should not exclude anyone.
She is not harming anyone. What she has done is not illegal. So please tell me exactly why you think it is your place to tell her that her decision is wrong. Perhaps you don't think that gender reassignment is the best way to deal with these kinds of issues. Or perhaps you believe that this change is a sin of some sort. I'm not here to tell you that you are wrong for thinking those things. But I am here to tell you that a person does not deserve to be hated for a decision that has no effect on you whatsoever.
Think back to when I told you to think about all of the choices you have made in your life and to imagine them being broadcast to the world. Now imagine all of these individuals posting about how your decisions were wrong or harmful. Think about them telling you that the decision you made makes you a disgrace to your community. Do you deserve this? No you don't.
Christ taught us that we are supposed to love our neighbors. There were no stipulations to this commandment. He did not say love them unless their fat, gay, transgender, black, or less intelligent. He said to love everyone. And that's that. It does not matter what you think of the decision that Caitlyn or any other member of the transgender community has made. Remember that love is the most important thing we can do in this life. And that love should not exclude anyone.
