#relationshipgoals

If you've been on any social media platform in the last month you've probably seen this recent posting fad. Many people, specifically teenage girls, have participated in this by posting the hashtag #relationshipgoals with something that they desire in a relationship. It is totally fine to have things that you like or look for in a relationship, but I think this trend may have taken things a bit too far. Most of these posts that I see depict pretty unrealistic expectations, but, guess what, no one is that perfect.

I've only been in one relationship, currently my love life is basically non-existent, and I'm pretty sure I'm the worst flirter to ever walk this earth, but even though discrediting yourself is a horrible writing technique, I'm gonna admit to not being the most knowledgeable on the subject. But I do know this, if your expectations for a significant other are too high, you are always gonna end up disappointed. Relationships aren't meant to be perfect and we need to stop expecting them to be.

I really just want girls to know that though they may get the cute romantic gesture every once in a while, you can't always expect it. Not every boy has perfect abs or gorgeous hair. Sometimes they space things and don't tell you how they feel. So if you want to be happier, have more realistic goals. Don't ever lower your standards, but maybe lower your expectations a bit.

So I want to share a couple of my #relationshipgoals...

1. I want to be with someone that I can argue with one minute (because it will happen) but then turn around and be fine the next. No grudges.

2. I want to be with someone who loves their family.

3. I want to be with someone who will love me as I am, but also not be afraid to tell me when I'm acting ridiculous.

4. I want someone who loves God, knows what they believe and lives it.

5. I want to be with someone who knows when to be serious and when to have fun.

6. I want to be with someone who treats the entire female population with respect.

The list could continue for a while, because I am a girl and it's what we do. But maybe we don't have to be so materialistic or high-maintenance. Stop expecting giant bouquets of flowers or expensive jewelry or rippling pectorals. Expect love, respect, care, loyalty, honesty, etc. Expect the things that truly matter. And to all the fellas out there, this goes to you too. Girls can be crazy and sensitive and vague and clingy and imperfect. None of us have perfect bodies. Sometimes our hair gets messy. Sometimes we'll say things that hurt you. But we do care.

No one's perfect and it's not fair to expect it. Expect trials and faults. Find the person that makes it all worth it. And when it comes to showing that you care, just remember that it's the little things that mean the most.

my height has nothing to do with you

As a girl towering at approximately 5'10", which isn't really that tall mind you, I have heard every single tall joke in the book. I have to order my pants online because stores don't sell my inseam on site, I've nicknamed my legs the twin towers, I am asked on a regular basis to reach things in high places, and if I were to wear all green I would look like asparagus. But considering I've been in the 90+ percentile for height literally since I was born (I was a very long baby), I've gotten used to these things. But there's one comment that bugs me like none other.

"You're too tall."

I mostly get this one when I'm wearing heels, but that's not always the case. And even so, it doesn't matter. My height and the shoes I choose to wear have absolutely nothing to do with you.

I am tall, yes. It's in my genes and I can't change that. Many times I've told my 6'2" father that it's his fault and his response it almost always something along the lines of "it's not my fault, it's my gift.
" And you know what? He's right. My height is something I often complain about, but I really shouldn't. It's not anyone's fault because there's no fault in it. My height is a beautiful thing that makes me, me. I shouldn't blame my father, I should thank him. So thanks, pops.

But back to the irrefutable fact that I cannot change my height. I'd like to point out that making a comment such as, "you're too tall" has no effect on that either. No matter what height you think I should be, I will never be able to please you. Unless, of course, you like the height I am, then we're cool. But I totally understand how wearing heels makes me even taller than I already am and some people don't understand why that's necessary. I get that. In my tallest pair, I'm probably somewhere between 6'2" and 6'3". But I don't wear them so I'm taller, I wear them because I feel good in them. They honestly boost my confidence. So I'm not going to stop wearing shoes that I like and make me feel good because they make me taller than most of the male population. It's not that important to me. I can't change myself because you're not happy with what I am. And even if I could, I most definitely wouldn't do it anyway. No matter how much I complain about my height and the struggles it brings, I like myself the way I am. And I will continue to wear heels no matter what anyone says about it, because let's be real, I look freaking hot in them.

But this comment still bothers me. And due to the offense it causes, most likely not on purpose by those making the comments, I have developed a theory. First I narrowed down the population of those people making comments like these. I hear remarks about my height from just about everyone, young an old, male and female. But I've discovered that the tone of their words is different based on the demographic. Young children always seem to be in awe. Women and older men are usually complimentary. Young men that are taller than me are most often complimentary as well and sometimes a bit flirtatious. But men who are shorter than me are pretty much always condescending. Almost like "how dare you be taller than me" like I have a real choice in the matter. So I have concluded that often these men make these comments because my height makes them feel inferior; that somehow me being taller than them makes them less of a man. But I'm gonna be brutally honest here. If my height emasculates you in any way, you probably weren't doing too well in the first place. Why would you define yourself based on the traits of others? I am no less of a woman because I am taller than you, just as you are no less of a man for being shorter than me. So stop thinking so. You don't need to be taller than me to feel like a man. However, I do understand if you're a bit jealous.. ;)

Also, I would like to ask any guilty persons reading this to think more about what they are saying to a person before they say it. Telling me that I am too tall is like going up to someone and saying "you're too black" or "you're too fat." Would you do that? I sure hope not. Pointing out faults you see in someone that they have no power over is rude and essentially useless. It does nothing to change what they are and often makes them feel guilty for being that way. I honestly have felt guilty for my height because of some of the things people have said to me and that's not okay. And this applies to so many other things. You may not think that what you are saying will offend someone, but think from their perspective before you speak. Our words are powerful in both positive and negative ways. Make sure the words you choose to say aren't going to tear anyone down. And don't get me wrong, I need to work on it too.