Something I've tried recently is listening to arguments without
responding in affirming or contradicting ways. I simply respond "that's an
interesting view" or "I've never considered that perspective"
rather than immediately jumping into an argument or an echo chamber-esque
conversation. While doing this, it occurred to me that it's not something I, or
most people, do often enough.
When we listen, we often do so with the intent of responding not
hearing. This is damaging in any setting, but is increasingly present in
political discourse. We are on the constant defensive. There is
an urgent need to defend what we believe and attack those who disagree with us.
But this doesn't offer much room for growth. When we listen with the intent of
responding, we don't really hear others' concerns or beliefs. We are
self-focused which limits the possibility for connection and understanding.
One of the most frustrating things I see in political discussion is the belittling and silencing of experience. Many individuals from
marginalized groups are stepping forward to tell their stories. Often, these
people are invalidated and dismissed when people do not feel comfortable with
the accusations their stories make. It is so much easier to deny validity than take
responsibility.
We need less politics and more empathy.
First, we must recognize that when we are discussing heated topics, we are typically talking with people who care as much as we do. Whether you agree with a person or not, they feel as strongly about their stance as you do about yours. When we remember this, we can be more respectful and productive in our discussions.
We also need to realize that despite political leanings, feelings are
always valid. When someone feels discriminated against, we need to listen and
support. All too often, we jump in to defend ourselves. When someone speaks out
on their experiences with racism we respond with "but, I'm not
racist." Or someone expresses concern about sexism and we respond
#NotAllMen. We don't listen to hear, we rather respond quickly to clear our own
consciences. And this solves nothing.
Empathy, however, has power to change. We can change ourselves,
our behavior, our minds. With empathy, we are no longer on separate teams
trying to win governmental power; we are on the same team, fighting for what is
best for all. You do not have to fully understand or agree with someone to
validate and empathize. Empathy is not uniformity, but it is unity.
It is essential to a peaceful existence that we recognize the humanity in everyone we encounter, no matter how different they might be. People are not political obstacles; they are people. The sooner and the more frequently we realize that, the more cooperative we will be and the more progress we will make.
So next time someone speaks out about an issue, whether you agree
or not, truly listen before you respond. Validate that persons beliefs and
recognize their humanity. Evaluate yourself and your stance on the issue. Then
have productive conversation. Do not jump on the defensive, but slowly and
thoughtfully analyze contradicting viewpoints together.
If we truly want a government built for the people, we have to first listen to the people. When we are empathetic, we solve more problems, we are more united, and we truly progress.
