my little piece of truth.

I am a white middle class cisgender heterosexual Christian woman. Other than gender biases, my life is completely full of privilege. But somehow this has become construed by society as something that makes me inherently ignorant and incapable of understanding certain things. It is assumed that due to the color of my skin, my sexuality, or my socioeconomic status, I cannot understand or empathize with the struggles of those with less privilege than I. And imagine if I had a Y chromosome instead of another X. I assume by that point, my views on equality would be thrown out the window based on details about my life that I have little control over.

Yes, I was born white. I was born a woman. I was born heterosexual. And I was born into a middle class family in Kansas. My dad is an engineer and for much of my childhood my mom stayed at home. I experienced a stereotypical American upbringing. These are things I cannot change about my life. But I often feel as though these things are what are shutting me out of conversations on critical social issues.

Of course, there are always people who are listening to what I have to say, but I know that there are individuals of color, members or the LGBT community, etc. that are more than willing to blow aside my opinions before I even project them based on my appearance, anatomy, and environment. And I'm not belittling the experiences of the people in these communities. Often times, there are men and women with similar backgrounds to myself that claim to be fighting for these people when truly furthering their own agendas. But I think it's dangerous to assume this is the norm. There are important contributions to movements that can be made by people not in the community behind the movement. I am also aware that my views and opinions may not be perfect for the movements in these communities. But that should warrant teaching, not shunning.

I think what's damaging here is the general lack of patience with those who differ in views. Instead of engaging in meaningful discourse, opinions are disregarded and attacked. And I'm not innocent of this, I'm insanely stubborn when it comes to what I believe. I'd rather fight for my own opinion than listen to others who may be more correct than I am. If we were to take a step back and actually digest what we are being told rather than going into an instant combat mode to fight against differing opinions, not only would disagreement be more pleasant but cooperation would be more common.

Truth is given in pieces. No one person has all of it, no matter how much we assume we do. By discounting individuals based on external characteristics, we are missing out on pieces of truth that we may not encounter otherwise. Some people have larger pieces of truth than others and sometimes the truth we have overlaps with the truth someone else has. And sometimes we have a piece of truth that no one else can claim. Imagine a world in which everyone held their truth close to their hearts, never sharing or listening to others. In this world, there is no progress because there is no understanding or cooperation. People hold fast to what they know without considering alternatives or extensions to their knowledge. Truth is never organized or combined to create beauty or peace. Now imagine a world in which people acknowledge the truth they have and the fact that it's only a small portion of a whole. In this world, people share their truths with others and listen to what is shared with them. People discuss their truths to find connections and solutions. There is progress because we recognize both our owns strengths and shortcomings as well as the strengths and shortcomings of others. We are less judgmental because we know that no matter how small or different a person may be, they have truth that we don't and we can grow from a relationship with them. We work together to find as much of a whole truth as we can in order to benefit everyone in the community. I know that this is the world I would rather live in and I know that it would take a lot of change on personal and communal levels to achieve.

I think this is a piece of truth that I have and I hope that sharing it empowers and influences change, even on a small scale. And I would encourage others to never be afraid of sharing what they believe, because you have truth and you'll never know what kind of power it has until you share it.

I love love.

Today is the lovely day of the year which Leslie Knope dubbed Galentine's day on one of my favorite shows, Parks and Recreation.

Aside from the fact that Leslie Knope is everything I aspire to be in life, she is one of the most empowering female characters on TV. Yes, she's awkward and ridiculous and a government worker. But, she's also ambitious, confident, and loving. Her focus on the power of women, though cluttered with somewhat juvenile comedy, is nothing short of inspiring. This show is all about lady love and it's great. 

So, I'm going to try to tackle the thoughts I want to share about Valentine's day and loving yourself and others and it might be a mess but please just bear with me. Even if this post is scattered and poorly written, I can only hope that something I say has some sort of power.

After you leave the elementary school days of giving valentine's to everyone in your class, Valentine's day becomes a sort of pinnacle of romantic love and the doom of singularity. It's a big deal for those people in relationships and a big pity party for those who aren't. I'm gonna be honest, the extent of my Valentine's day celebrations have never been much more than receiving chocolates from my mom. But why should that be a problem? Yes, Valentine's day is commercialized as a day of romance, sex, and flowers, but why stop there? Love is awesome! I love a lot of people, and none of them in a romantic way. But does that mean that Valentine's day has to be depressing and lonely? Of course not! I can celebrate this joyous occasion by loving myself and loving my friends and eating twice my weight in chocolate and even though I won't be with a "special someone," I'll be just fine! 

So this Valentine's day, love yourself first. And then love the world around you. And love the idea of love, romantic, platonic, familial and every kind in between. Support the people that are happy and secure in their relationships as they celebrate their love. Love the fact that even if you aren't in a relationship, you are living a wonderful life and you are worthy of love and belonging.

Now on to lady love. I could probably make this another post, but this one's already as scattered and cheesy as it can get so I might as well keep going. 

One thing I've noticed recently, and others seemed to have noticed as well is how harsh women are to one another. We condemn the men who call us ugly, slutty, or treating us like we're lesser, but then we turn around and do and say those exact things to each other. Most of the hatred women encounter on a daily basis can be attributed to other women. We can't expect men to treat us equally when we can't even treat ourselves with that kind of regard. 

And don't just stop at not being rude, let's go out of our way to be kind to one another. If you like a girl's outfit, tell her! If you think another girl is intelligent, let her know! If you notice that a girl is kind or funny or well-spoken or strong, don't stay quiet about it! Life is so much better when you openly acknowledge the beauty in the characteristics of others. The world needs more lady love, so let's provide it. Ladies celebrating ladies. 

(Side note: This applies to dudes too. Tell your bro you appreciate his friendship. Tell your bro you his hair is looking good. Tell your bro that his is a wonderful individual and you're glad you're bros. Bro love is wonderful too. And while we're at it, fellas, let's tell the ladies they're great and ladies let's tell the men they're awesome. People loving people, man. What a concept.)

But most importantly, I just wish everyone would love themselves. I know how hard it is to think you're not worth enough, not beautiful, not smart. It's so damaging to compare yourself to others. I spent my entire high school career looking at my friends and seeing people who were smarter, more talented, friendlier, prettier, and funnier than I am. In fact, my life is still like that. I am constantly surrounded by absolutely incredible human beings. But I've gotten better at not comparing myself to them. I am an individual. I stand by myself, not among others to be judged, scrutinized, and most importantly not to blend in. I've realized that yes, my friends may be smarter, more talented, or prettier, but their traits don't effect my worth. 

Sheri L. Dew once said "None of us come to this earth to gain our worth; we brought it with us." And although we didn't come to the earth to gain our worth, we did come to discover it. I wish I could go up to each of you, look you straight in the eyes and tell you that you have value, you are beautiful, and your life is important. And you would probably look back at me and say something along the lines of "you're ridiculous, stop." And I would laugh and go on with my day, knowing that every word I said was 100% true, whether you believed it or not.