First off, let me say, that I am fully aware that we are halfway through February. Secondly, I did start writing this a month ago but I never got around to ironing it out and posting it so touching on a New Years theme hopefully makes sense with that context. But I feel like this issue is ever important, so better late than never.
Starting a new year involves resolution-making, purging, and renewing for many people. Something I've seen many do is choose a word to use as their guide throughout the year. Seeing these caused me to reflect on what word might be the guiding beacon for me this year and I decided pretty immediately that it would be empathy.
I feel like empathy is something we all kind of pretend to understand and be good at. We know the textbook definition.We know that it is different than sympathy but we still interchange the two when it comes to our behavior. We expect empathy from others but really can't be bothered to extend it in return. And I think that is mostly because empathy is so active. It's not a gut reaction. It is thoughtful, active, and can often take time.
Take into consideration pretty much every social issue currently in the news. It is my ~assumption that with empathy, these issues could be worked through a bit quicker than the pace we are currently at. But the truth is, empathy is hard. And not just like "my arms are weak and I can't lift this heavy box" hard but "imagining myself in your situation is emotionally exhausting and I am struggling to take your burden upon myself" hard. And we often don't truly consider the weight of these emotional burdens. But you also have to remember that no matter how hard imagining yourself in someone else's position is, actually BEING in that position is harder. In fact, a part of privilege is not actually having to be in those positions. But we sometimes take that to mean that we don't have to care about it either. It doesn't affect us so why waste the time? Because that's what good people do. They look outward. They empathize even when it's hard.¹
Empathy creates a space for work. When we truly empathize with another's difficulties, especially with the difficulties faced by entire groups of people, it is selfish to walk away without offering some form of assistance. For social issues, this can be small actions such as having conversations or larger actions such as donating time and money to just causes. And yes, with awareness of issues and the employment of empathy comes responsibility. And sometimes ignorance is easier (an idea I talk about in depth here), but we cannot allow ourselves to turn away.
So for me, 2018 is a year of empathy. A year of employing it, strengthening it, and teaching it. When I read stories of abuse and marginalization, I will not imagine what I would do in their situation, I will imagine what I would feel in their situation. It is a subtle difference, but it might just change everything.
¹Having a background in psychology, I know that empathy can be really hard for certain people. That's totally understandable and do what you can.
