on rape, victim blaming, and kesha rose sebert

When I walk to my car at night I pull out my keys before I even go outside and hold them in my hands, the car key held firmly between my pointer finger and thumb. I watch and listen carefully to my surroundings as approach my car. I peer into the backseat before unlocking it.

I took a psychology of gender class last summer and one of the activities we did followed the previous scenario. We were told that we were leaving the grocery store in the dark and were asked what our routine would be. The men of class stated that they merely walked out to their car, got their keys, and left. Women however, noted a more specific routine. All of us recalled retrieving our keys while in the store or while walking toward the vehicle. Some stated that they would take their hair out of a ponytail if it was in one to remove that point of attack. We would check our cars before getting in and lock the doors immediately thereafter. We live with the constant fear and awareness that we can be attacked if we are too vulnerable. This routine could make all the difference in our own safety.

The threat to women on a daily basis is astonishing. Throughout her life, a woman in the US has a 1 in 6 chance of being raped. 44% of victims (both male and female) are under 18 and 80% are under 30. In addition to the revolting statistics involving victims, there are even worse statistics related to the perpetrators. 98% of rapists will never spend time in jail for their crimes. And this is partly because 68% of assaults are never even reported.

These leads me to the question of how our society has developed so that women do not feel comfortable reporting their attackers. A woman should feel not only comfortable, but as if it is her duty to make sure that the assault is reported and that the attacker is convicted and sentenced for their actions. However, our society is set up to immediately doubt and blame victims for what happened to them.

Taken from thehollywoodgossip.com/

I was talking the other day with a friend about Kesha's recent court case and how she was not let out of her contract despite being a victim of physical and emotional abuse for several years. My friend, not being aware of the situation asked what had happened to Kesha. I explained that she had been raped by her producer and was trying to get out of her contract so she would no longer have to work with him. My friend's immediate response was "Oh, but was it consensual?" His initial and natural reaction was to doubt. It's not his fault, society has taught him this. It's taught all of us this and it is a difficult thing to unlearn. But because rape is so common and so damaging, we need to fix the way we react to it.

First, it is extremely difficult for a woman to come forward about a rape accusation. It can take years for someone to come forward with their story. This is because of the way we treat women who have claimed to be raped. Women don't feel comfortable sharing their experiences because they feel shame in the fact that they were attacked. The truth of the matter is that a rape victim should never feel shamed. They cannot be held responsible in any capacity for their attack. Revealing clothing is not an invitation. Intoxication is not an invitation. No one asks to get raped, so why do we continue to perpetuate the idea that a victim's personal behavior and decisions is what leads to their situation?

Then, once someone does come forward with a rape accusation, we look for ways to rid the accused rapist of any blame. The victim was wearing provocative clothing or was drunk or the rapist could not help their urges. We try to apologize for rapists and place blame on victims. And because of this trend, there is not a safe atmosphere for victims to tell their stories and report their abusers.

Kesha is now stuck in a contract with a man who has been abusing her for years. She is stuck there because a judge decided that the money her producer has invested in her career is more important than the career itself. The judge decided that a contract is more important than a woman's physical and emotional safety. We live in a hierarchical world, and unfortunately this world has been consistently placing rapists over their victims. This must stop. Ideally, we would rid the world of rape in general. But if this can't be done, the least we can do is make sure it's more comfortable and safe for victims to tell their stories and pursue the justice they deserve.