how to be wrong

I'm the kind of person who does not give up an argument easily. If we start a debate, it's really hard for me to end it. I have to feel like I have won. This is mostly because I am really passionate about my beliefs but also because I am insanely stubborn. Once I have come to a conclusion about something, I will usually stick to that stance. I am not easily swayed. Take that as a warning if you ever want to argue with me.

Also note that I live in a logical world where there is a sensible answer to any problem. I rely on reasoning more often than I really should. On the Myers Briggs personality spectrum, I am definitely on the thinking side of the thinking/feeling dichotomy. And when asked what my biggest fear is, I reply with the cheesy, almost invalid answer of "not understanding." When I don't grasp a subject, I'm quick to decide that it's pointless and not worth pursuing. Seriously, just ask my high school calculus teacher.

But recently, I have discovered that it is important to recognize that you aren't always going to be right. Your opinion isn't perfect, you won't understand everything, and truth will always be subjective. I think I discovered this in a selfish way. When other people didn't agree with me and I wanted them to become more willing to admit their own faults. But I am begrudgingly admitting that this is something I need to do as well. And it kinda sucks. Admitting that you are wrong is one of the hardest things to do. It takes a shot at your dignity and opens yourself up to judgment. No one wants to be the person that changes their mind. In politics, its called flip-flopping and it can kill a campaign. But the truth is the change of opinion and the recognition of fault is essential to growth.

One of the most important things to learn in life is how to be wrong. We often float around in a dream world where all of our thoughts are truth. We are right and we shouldn't change our thoughts, behaviors, and characteristics because it's a sign of weakness. The phrase "you've changed" typically has a negative connotation as if change is unwanted or weak. But change is pretty key to our own growth.

To an extent, our thoughts and ideas are our own personal truths. But we must be careful to not project these things onto others. Our beliefs won't always be right for everyone and it can be hard to come to terms with that. But we also have to recognize that what we see as our own personal truth may not be completely correct or healthy for ourselves. We might think we're right and that our decisions are our own business, but others can often add a perspective to our view of our decisions and its important to listen. I am not always right no matter how much I'd like to think I am, even, and maybe even especially when it comes to the decisions I am making with my own life.

So how do we let ourselves be wrong? In our journey to find objective truth we often come to the conclusion that we are the only ones who can see it. That our truth is everyone's truth. But the fallacy in this journey is that there isn't really an objective truth to find. It's a journey without a destination. And it is much easier to relinquish our ideas of truth when we recognize that objective truth just might be impossible to come by. Once you recognize that truth is subjective and personal, you will find it easier to shift your thoughts and ideas. You will be able to grow and you'll be more able to let others grow as well.

We need to recognize that change is essential to progression. Our lives become stagnant when we let our views and beliefs remain the same when our circumstances change or we are presented with new information. Our friends and family can often provide views that we wouldn't have otherwise considered. We need to realize that revising our thoughts and ideas isn't weakness, it's the strength to identify our faults and readjust. It's the wisdom to admit that we can't always access truth. It's the humility to understand that we might not always have the right answer.

So next time I am stubborn about my own views, I will take a step back and try to see things from another point of view. Because though it's hard to admit, mine isn't perfect, not even for myself.