my little piece of truth.

I am a white middle class cisgender heterosexual Christian woman. Other than gender biases, my life is completely full of privilege. But somehow this has become construed by society as something that makes me inherently ignorant and incapable of understanding certain things. It is assumed that due to the color of my skin, my sexuality, or my socioeconomic status, I cannot understand or empathize with the struggles of those with less privilege than I. And imagine if I had a Y chromosome instead of another X. I assume by that point, my views on equality would be thrown out the window based on details about my life that I have little control over.

Yes, I was born white. I was born a woman. I was born heterosexual. And I was born into a middle class family in Kansas. My dad is an engineer and for much of my childhood my mom stayed at home. I experienced a stereotypical American upbringing. These are things I cannot change about my life. But I often feel as though these things are what are shutting me out of conversations on critical social issues.

Of course, there are always people who are listening to what I have to say, but I know that there are individuals of color, members or the LGBT community, etc. that are more than willing to blow aside my opinions before I even project them based on my appearance, anatomy, and environment. And I'm not belittling the experiences of the people in these communities. Often times, there are men and women with similar backgrounds to myself that claim to be fighting for these people when truly furthering their own agendas. But I think it's dangerous to assume this is the norm. There are important contributions to movements that can be made by people not in the community behind the movement. I am also aware that my views and opinions may not be perfect for the movements in these communities. But that should warrant teaching, not shunning.

I think what's damaging here is the general lack of patience with those who differ in views. Instead of engaging in meaningful discourse, opinions are disregarded and attacked. And I'm not innocent of this, I'm insanely stubborn when it comes to what I believe. I'd rather fight for my own opinion than listen to others who may be more correct than I am. If we were to take a step back and actually digest what we are being told rather than going into an instant combat mode to fight against differing opinions, not only would disagreement be more pleasant but cooperation would be more common.

Truth is given in pieces. No one person has all of it, no matter how much we assume we do. By discounting individuals based on external characteristics, we are missing out on pieces of truth that we may not encounter otherwise. Some people have larger pieces of truth than others and sometimes the truth we have overlaps with the truth someone else has. And sometimes we have a piece of truth that no one else can claim. Imagine a world in which everyone held their truth close to their hearts, never sharing or listening to others. In this world, there is no progress because there is no understanding or cooperation. People hold fast to what they know without considering alternatives or extensions to their knowledge. Truth is never organized or combined to create beauty or peace. Now imagine a world in which people acknowledge the truth they have and the fact that it's only a small portion of a whole. In this world, people share their truths with others and listen to what is shared with them. People discuss their truths to find connections and solutions. There is progress because we recognize both our owns strengths and shortcomings as well as the strengths and shortcomings of others. We are less judgmental because we know that no matter how small or different a person may be, they have truth that we don't and we can grow from a relationship with them. We work together to find as much of a whole truth as we can in order to benefit everyone in the community. I know that this is the world I would rather live in and I know that it would take a lot of change on personal and communal levels to achieve.

I think this is a piece of truth that I have and I hope that sharing it empowers and influences change, even on a small scale. And I would encourage others to never be afraid of sharing what they believe, because you have truth and you'll never know what kind of power it has until you share it.

I love love.

Today is the lovely day of the year which Leslie Knope dubbed Galentine's day on one of my favorite shows, Parks and Recreation.

Aside from the fact that Leslie Knope is everything I aspire to be in life, she is one of the most empowering female characters on TV. Yes, she's awkward and ridiculous and a government worker. But, she's also ambitious, confident, and loving. Her focus on the power of women, though cluttered with somewhat juvenile comedy, is nothing short of inspiring. This show is all about lady love and it's great. 

So, I'm going to try to tackle the thoughts I want to share about Valentine's day and loving yourself and others and it might be a mess but please just bear with me. Even if this post is scattered and poorly written, I can only hope that something I say has some sort of power.

After you leave the elementary school days of giving valentine's to everyone in your class, Valentine's day becomes a sort of pinnacle of romantic love and the doom of singularity. It's a big deal for those people in relationships and a big pity party for those who aren't. I'm gonna be honest, the extent of my Valentine's day celebrations have never been much more than receiving chocolates from my mom. But why should that be a problem? Yes, Valentine's day is commercialized as a day of romance, sex, and flowers, but why stop there? Love is awesome! I love a lot of people, and none of them in a romantic way. But does that mean that Valentine's day has to be depressing and lonely? Of course not! I can celebrate this joyous occasion by loving myself and loving my friends and eating twice my weight in chocolate and even though I won't be with a "special someone," I'll be just fine! 

So this Valentine's day, love yourself first. And then love the world around you. And love the idea of love, romantic, platonic, familial and every kind in between. Support the people that are happy and secure in their relationships as they celebrate their love. Love the fact that even if you aren't in a relationship, you are living a wonderful life and you are worthy of love and belonging.

Now on to lady love. I could probably make this another post, but this one's already as scattered and cheesy as it can get so I might as well keep going. 

One thing I've noticed recently, and others seemed to have noticed as well is how harsh women are to one another. We condemn the men who call us ugly, slutty, or treating us like we're lesser, but then we turn around and do and say those exact things to each other. Most of the hatred women encounter on a daily basis can be attributed to other women. We can't expect men to treat us equally when we can't even treat ourselves with that kind of regard. 

And don't just stop at not being rude, let's go out of our way to be kind to one another. If you like a girl's outfit, tell her! If you think another girl is intelligent, let her know! If you notice that a girl is kind or funny or well-spoken or strong, don't stay quiet about it! Life is so much better when you openly acknowledge the beauty in the characteristics of others. The world needs more lady love, so let's provide it. Ladies celebrating ladies. 

(Side note: This applies to dudes too. Tell your bro you appreciate his friendship. Tell your bro you his hair is looking good. Tell your bro that his is a wonderful individual and you're glad you're bros. Bro love is wonderful too. And while we're at it, fellas, let's tell the ladies they're great and ladies let's tell the men they're awesome. People loving people, man. What a concept.)

But most importantly, I just wish everyone would love themselves. I know how hard it is to think you're not worth enough, not beautiful, not smart. It's so damaging to compare yourself to others. I spent my entire high school career looking at my friends and seeing people who were smarter, more talented, friendlier, prettier, and funnier than I am. In fact, my life is still like that. I am constantly surrounded by absolutely incredible human beings. But I've gotten better at not comparing myself to them. I am an individual. I stand by myself, not among others to be judged, scrutinized, and most importantly not to blend in. I've realized that yes, my friends may be smarter, more talented, or prettier, but their traits don't effect my worth. 

Sheri L. Dew once said "None of us come to this earth to gain our worth; we brought it with us." And although we didn't come to the earth to gain our worth, we did come to discover it. I wish I could go up to each of you, look you straight in the eyes and tell you that you have value, you are beautiful, and your life is important. And you would probably look back at me and say something along the lines of "you're ridiculous, stop." And I would laugh and go on with my day, knowing that every word I said was 100% true, whether you believed it or not. 

christian feminism

Recently an article has been going around by Dr. Stephen Kim about how a true Christian man wouldn't marry certain types of women. First of all, this article is downright offensive to just about any woman ever. In fact, the article, in short, states if you're a good Christian man you won't marry a woman if she is anyway sure of herself. Only marry a woman if the only two things she worships are God and yourself. How about no?

The part of this article I took the most offense to was the feminist section. Which is as follows: 

I don't know about you but this sounds a lot like "don't marry a woman if she has opinions or a sense of her own worth." The first error in this argument is how it is stated that "women and men have equal value in the eyes of God." True. But the author then follows it up by saying that your wife should not be "your equal in terms of authority" and that you should "look for a woman who agrees with you in this very vital God-ordained relational dynamic." Sorry fellas, but that is not me or any decent woman, to be honest. First of all, saying that men and women are equal in God's eyes and then saying that women are not equal to men from your own perspective is putting yourself above God. The author is saying that even though God's opinion is one way, his opinion is more correct. And worse, he is telling Christian men that they should trust his opinion over God's. But all hypocrisy and blasphemy aside, his argument is still damaging to the institution of marriage. Marriage isn't about making sure your wife agrees with you. There's this really cool thing called cooperation, in which you try to see each other's perspective and find a way to compromise and find agreement. I've never been married, but I'm pretty sure this will make everyone happier in the end. 

But, guess what Dr. Stephen Kim, there is definitely room within Christendom for the "Christian feminist." Let's take a look.

Christianity as a whole doesn't insinuate misogyny. Christ while He was on the earth paid special attention to the women in His life. He was actually quite advanced in His treatment of women for the time. He was kind and welcoming to them. For example, His interaction with the woman at the well was uncommon of the men of the time. Most men would have entirely ignored her presence, while Jesus sought a conversation with her. Another example is the adulterous woman. All of the men present were ready to stone her to death, but Christ was ready to forgive her and let her return to her life to sin no more. Christ also had very strong relationships with women in his life, including His mother and Mary Magdalene. Women are even at the center of several Christian pillars of belief.

First is the Creation. Women were created after men because Adam, by himself, could not have fulfilled God's plan. He need an "help meet." But just because women were created after Adam, or from his rib, or as an "help meet" does not mean that women are lesser than men. In fact, that's terrible reasoning. Adam was created after all of the animals; does this mean men are less than animals? According to some, maybe... but essentially, no. The order of creation is not significant in the terms of equality. Women were the final creation. Once women were created, it was finally enough to fulfill God's plan. But that doesn't make us any more or less, it just makes us essential.

Women also played a vital role in the fall. Eve gets a bad rep for her part in the fall of herself and Adam. Yet people forget how essential the fall was to our own lives. If Adam and Eve would never have fallen, they would still be living in a state of innocence in the Garden of Eden, meaning they would never have had children and started the earth's population. God gave them conflicting commandments. They weren't supposed to eat of the fruit of the tree, but they were also supposed to multiply and replenish the earth. By following one, they were unable to follow the other. Eating the fruit was essential to life and the Plan. Through this transgression, Eve was the mother of all living. Without her, and without women all over the world, human life would not be possible. 

The third pillar of Christianity women play a large role in is the Atonement. First, when Christ was upon the cross he showed that one of His last worldly cares was that His mother was taken care of. He called upon one of His disciples to care for her. Even in a time of utmost pain, Christ showed care for a woman. Second, the first person Christ appeared to after His resurrection was a woman. He appeared to Mary and she was called upon to bring the news to the apostles. Christ trusted a woman with this infinitely important news. She was necessary to make sure the apostles knew Christ had risen and believed in Him. Both before His death and after He was risen, women were there and were vital. 

Throughout gospel history, women have been entrusted with important roles. Without these women, the Plan of Salvation could not have been started or implemented. We are equal to men, whether or not we have the same roles. Equal doesn't mean the same. It just means equal.

So to all the Christian fellas out there, don't marry someone who views herself as less than you or someone who is only here to meet your needs. Marry a girl who knows who she is and knows her role in this life. Marry a girl who views herself as your equal and whom you view as equal to you. Work together towards the same goals, equally yoked and equally strong. 

fearing fear

Yesterday I was sitting in my Sunday school class whispering to my roommate, Megan, about how several of the things being taught by the teacher and by the members of the class I really didn't agree with. Throughout nearly the entire class period I was doing this and I never once spoke up for the entire class to hear. Why? Because I'm terrified.

I started thinking about the way I behave and act in my everyday life, and there is so much that I don't do because I'm completely and foolishly afraid. I put on a rather impressive façade of strength and independence because I'm petrified by the idea of being vulnerable. I don't actively pursue friendships because I'm scared of being seen as too attached or desperate for human interaction. I don't tell the people I care about that I love them because I fear rejection. I don't introduce myself to new people because I'm scared I'll do something embarrassing or offensive. I don't go to lectures on topics I'm interested in because I don't want to go alone or show up late or end up bored. Essentially, I don't act because I'm afraid of the possible negative consequences even though they are clearly outweighed by the benefits in each situation.

And for pretty much all of my life I've been content with this. My excuse is that I'm just a little shy or lazy or that I'm above whatever it is for some reason, but never scared. My front of strength has been enough for me to get by without people knowing that I'm constantly comparing myself to them, scared that I will be viewed as less because I'm a girl, Mormon, less attractive, less intelligent, etc. Not only am I lying outwardly, but also to myself. I actually thought and still think that I don't care what other people think. And sometimes I really don't, but a good portion of the time I just want people think that I don't care because that will in turn affect what they think of me. Which is pretty twisted really. But this got me thinking about all the happiness, friendships, knowledge, and adventure that I've probably missed out on because of the anxiety I felt towards leaving my ever-familiar comfort zone.

In his inaugural speech, Franklin D. Roosevelt said, "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself," which he continues to define as "nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance." I always looked at the first part of this quote as a way to encourage bravery. I thought FDR was saying that we shouldn't have fear because we need to be brave and courageous; that fear will debilitate our lives, while bravery will cause us to flourish. This is only one interpretation, and recently I developed a different view that resonates a lot better with me and my current circumstances. I think FDR is not trying to tell us to eliminate fear. Fear is one of the strongest emotions we feel and we should use it to our advantage. I believe he is saying that we should concentrate our fear on our fears. We should be afraid of being afraid. We should fear the fact that our fears could be getting in the way of joy and success. Once we develop a fear of fear itself, we will be able to act because we'll be afraid of what will happen if we don't.

#jesuisdéçu

My personal opinion is that violence should be a last resort. I see the need for military and forceful actions in certain circumstances, but I value human life much more. Therefore, I believe violence should be used when it preserves more life than if action was not to be taken.

Accordingly, I don't agree with the way the situation with Charlie Hebdo was handled. The magazine was not presently threatening the lives of anyone and they have their right of press. The lives lost in the attack are tragic. However, what they were publishing was offensive to Islamic religion and culture and I recognize the frustration that it must have caused in the Muslim community. Charlie Hebdo poorly represented Islamic beliefs. Yes, there are sects of Islam that are extreme in their actions and what they believe to be manifesting love and support for Allah, the god of Islam. But Charlie Hebdo's use of satire is entirely focused on these extremist groups and generalizes these views to all of Islam with the usage of Muhammad, the prophet of Islam, often considered by non-Muslims to be the founder of Islam. 

Examples:

(With my lack of knowledge and my understanding of the faults in google translate, I have determined that "100 coups de fouet, si vous n'êtes pas morts de rire" and "l'amour plus fort que la haine" essentially mean "100 lashes if you aren't dying of laughter" and "love is stronger than hate" respectively.)

This is entirely unfair. From my knowledge of Islamic views (which is limited of course), I understand that Islam is one of the most peaceful belief systems at its core. Muslims have a strong focus on personal religious devotion and support of the needy. The views of extremists groups don't align well with Islamic beliefs. To generalize the views of these groups on the entire population promotes prejudice based in ignorance. I am so grateful that I do not have to answer for the horrible things that Christians have done in the past due to my personal belief in Christ. So who am I to require all members of the Islamic community to answer for the actions of extremists? The actions of one are almost never representative of the whole.

The ignorance and slander being presented by Charlie Hebdo does not, however, justify the violence against the magazine (it's important to note that this was carried out by extremists). This attack, unfortunately, sparked violence across both Europe and the Middle East, on both sides of the issue causing even more loss and pain. Which leads me to the point of this very scattered article. Both sides are in the wrong. Claiming satire does not justify prejudice against any group of people (though no matter what, the right of press allows its publication). But offensive articles and cartoons do not justify the use of violence either. 

I think what irritates me the most about this issue and other recent issues involving racial and religious discrimination is the blatant disregard for human life. In the issues in Ferguson, New York, Boko Haram, etc. we consistently see a person or group dismissing the fact that the person or group they are targeting are no different than themselves. It's not just an issue of black lives, Islamic lives, Hispanic lives, white lives or any other specificity. It is an issue of human lives. And before you close out of this window because you no longer think this issue is important to you on a personal level, I'd like to point out that disregard for human life is not solely murder or violence. Dismissing the rights of a group of people based on their looks or beliefs is also included. As soon as you discriminate against another person, you are disregarding their life because you are claiming that somehow you are more than that person. Thus you are rejecting the idea that their life is worth just as much as yours. And guess what, it is. All of us, depsite of what gender, race, or religion we might be, deserve to be recognized as human beings equal to one another. As a human race, their will always be inequality of wealth, health, and other circumstances. But we can reach the point at which there is not inequality based solely on skin color, gender, belief system, etc. And that's what we should be moving towards.

Life is incredibly beautiful. Each day we are allowed to interact with other amazing beings and witness the wonders of nature. We are able to experience happiness, sadness, heartache, love, and fear. There is very little reason for you or I to come between a person and their right to this life and all the joys and trials that come with it. 

why I love selfies

There are three types of selfie takers in this world.

1. The people who take selfies infrequently and are self-righteous about it.

2. The people who do take selfies often and lie about it.

3. The people who take selfies regularly and post about it.

If you say you don't fall into any of these categories, you're probably a number 1 and you're in denial of your self-righteousness or you're a number 2 and you're still lying about it. As for me, I would say I fall into category two. Though I don't take selfies super often, most of the ones I take never see the light of day. The last purely vain selfie I posted was in September. But though the selfie culture gets a lot of hate, most of us have participated and I think there may be some pros to it.

First, we need to stop blaming millennials for selfie culture. The truth is selfies have been around for ages, they just weren't called selfies back then. Before the camera, people of nobility would hire artists to paint portraits of themselves to hang in their homes. These ancient selfies would take hours to produce. You'd have to love yourself a ton to stand for hours while an artist paints a photo of you. Thank goodness it's a lot faster now.


(Portrait d'une noble génoise)

After the camera was invented, selfies started early. Taken in 1839, this is the first known selfie.



It's a pretty good one, if I do say so myself. And don't think for a moment that mirror selfies are merely a thing of the modern day. Not even the earliest of its kind, here's a mirror selfie from 1900.


(see more at http://www.news.com.au/technology/these-old-selfies-dating-back-to-the-1800s-will-blow-your-mind/story-e6frfro0-1226741497253)

#OOTD #ModestIsHottest #HideTheAnkles

Selfies are not a millennial invention? Who knew? But though we didn't invent the selfie, we certainly have redefined it. With front-facing cameras, color technology, editing software and a plethora of filters, we have made selfies a form of self-expression and a way to raise self esteem.

When you really think about it, the willingness to post a picture of yourself on the internet, to an audience of hundreds to thousands to potentially millions of people takes quite a bit of confidence. Not only are you sharing a close-up of your face: beauty, flaws, and all. But you are opening yourself up for criticism whether you ever hear about it or not. Selfie posting can be a mask for some to hide unhappiness or fear, but for others it takes off the mask. It displays themselves to the world, showing that they love themselves and want everyone to know. For me, posting a selfie usually equates to me wanting to show myself off because I feel good.

Selfies can also encourage creativity. There are so many aspects of a selfie that are chosen by the taker. The angle that the photo is taken, the lighting, the facial expressions, the coloration, the filtering, the caption and more. Though not a typical art form (and many wouldn't dare regard as art), people are able to express themselves through the pictures they take. They are able to create an image that is not only of their own creation, but they are the subject as well. It is purely themselves.

I think that's why I get a little defensive when someone remarks condescendingly about selfie-taking. The truth is I am a huge supporter of the culture. People are posting themselves in a way that they have created (probably with some assistance from Instagram or other editing apps). But if someone feels good enough about themselves to post a picture that opens them up to hatred and criticism from their online friends, who am I to complain about it being on my news feed? Post on, my narcissistic, creative, beautiful friends, post on.

small and simple things

To premise this post I want anyone reading to rid their mind of previous biases. Try to be open to different ideas and criticism.

With the current Michael Brown case, there has been an explosion of people calling for change. People are protesting for justice for Brown and change in policy among police departments around the country. And I do believe these are honorable causes, but I'm not entirely sure that the protesting is progressive in most cases.

The most obvious of the destructive protesting is the rioting that occurred after the grand jury decision not to indict Officer Darren Wilson was announced. Businesses were looted and destroyed, hundreds of people were arrested around the country, and even one young man was found shot and burned. This kind of protesting, though clearly a minority, does not help Michael Brown's case in any way. First of all, it destroys the lives of hundreds to thousands of other people. Ruining the lives of others does not make yours better. Secondly, it does not improve the image of the community. Unfortunately, this kind of behavior only enforces stereotypes, true or false. Though it is an unfortunate facet, there is still discrimination and racism perpetuated throughout our society. 

But we cannot simply delete racism at will. Multiple things need to happen and it will be a process. First, we need to recognize that an individual is not representative of a whole. Generalizing leads to stereotyping. Next, we need to focus on similarities rather than differences. Once the similarities are recognized, then we will be able to celebrate the differences. And the third change I will suggest, though there are many more changes to be made, is that the media needs to treat all cases equally. The augmentation of stories based on the race of the individuals involved only perpetuates inequality.

Okay, now this is where this article gets even more controversial than it already is. Clearly violent protesting is not positive in any way. Yet, I personally believe that peaceful protesting isn't very helpful to most causes either. It definitely doesn't do any harm and it makes a statement, but I feel it is more stagnant than progressive. For example, in my home town of Wichita, Kansas there have been several protests in the past week. For one, members of the Wichita State University community were encouraged to wear black to openly show their support of Michael Brown and their demand for justice. Another occurred at Wichita East High School in which students laid out on the grounds for 4.5 minutes to represent the 4.5 hours the Michael Brown's body lay in the street. I am in no way opposed to these demonstrations and I think it is great the young people are not only forming opinions but publicly declaring them. However, I'm worried that these kinds of demonstrations are merely a way for people to feel like their making a difference when they aren't actually propelling the cause in any way. Change has to be sought specifically. Merely posting a status that you are demanding justice for Michael Brown, or wearing a certain color in honor of lost lives, or laying in the grass to represent the tragic events doesn't actually create justice or change. Words can be powerful, but words without action are easily lost. 

What is needed is powerful and positive action. One of the other protests in Wichita did just this. Many people gathered together to demand that police be required to wear cameras while patrolling. This protest had a fixed cause. It calls for a small and specific change that will eventually create a much larger change in the justice system. It is these small, specific, and direct demands and demonstrations that will bring about the most results. Unfortunately, simply calling for justice will most likely not incite change. The call for justice will be best satisfied when the road is taken one step at a time. Though it is hard to be patient in a situation in which lives may be lost, we must recognize that change is usually not abrupt. It takes time, but it will happen.

"Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise. And the Lord God doth work by means to bring about his great and eternal purposes; and by very small means the Lord doth confound the wise and bringeth about the salvation of many souls." Alma 37:6-7